By Tim Adams
Your job as the leader of your church carries significant burdens, responsibilities and is fraught with pitfalls, dangers, and wounds.
Unfortunately, many in your congregation likely do not think about the fact that they lean on you, but who do you lean on? Perhaps they believe that you have a unique connection to God and thus He is the only support you need. In a perfect world, this would be a true statement, but we are far from Heaven and that is just not the reality we live in.
What does your support system look like? Do you have one? If you do counseling, there are legal constraints as to what you can and cannot share with other people and that limits your ability to rely on other people for support. So where do you turn?
Creation
I have found immense peace and healing in God’s creation, either enjoying it with others, but mostly in solitude. If you’re intentional about creating time and space for God to show up, He always does. I exercise something called a DAWG: a Day Alone with God. DAWGS look differently for different people; however, they all share a few critically important elements.
First, you dedicate at least a few hours to go out into nature, away from other people, away from technology and the hubbub of society so you can be undistracted and fully present.
Secondly, you only take what you need: water, food, Bible, journal, pen, and weather-appropriate clothing. Often times, I will find a secluded spot and just stay in my car to pray, read, and journal, but others prefer to get out into nature, feel the dirt, breathe the air.
Whatever works for you, do that. But you want to ensure you commit several hours to this adventure because it can take a long time for our hearts, minds, and souls to slow down, relax and breathe. This practice has changed my life and it’s been staggering how God shows up, every time. This can help you have the space and time to feel what you need to feel, to allow our Father to take those burdens off of you and minister to you in ways you didn’t know you needed.
If you journal about sensitive topics, particularly involving other people, remember to secure the journal in an appropriate place away from others. It’s important that when people trust us with their deep thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. that we take that seriously and return that trust by protecting what they share.
Maybe journaling isn’t your thing, but some other outdoor activity is – so go do that! Get out and let your heart come alive and experience joy, laughter, freedom. Too often we get locked up in our offices and our routines to let our soul out to play. We get weighed down by our responsibilities such that we slowly become less and less effective as we get crushed by our load.
Mountain biking, hiking, swimming, working out, sports – whatever your heart and soul needs to offload the weight, carve time out for that. You’re no good to anyone if you’re half broken yourself. As I often share, “You can’t do much good saving others from drowning if you have a broken arm.”
Fellowship
Sometimes the heart needs the connection of good friends and family. You don’t have to share the details of your burdens in order to experience relief from them. Surrounding yourself with people of good character, who can challenge you in your walk with God, yet comfort you when you’re hurting is hugely important, regardless of whether you’re a pastor or not. We so often preach about the importance of fellowship, but lack the time, ability, or courage to establish that for ourselves.
I know that in the church system I grew up in, pastors often are only assigned to a specific church for a few years before going elsewhere. This kind of lifestyle makes it difficult to build long-lasting relationships and encourages quite the opposite: shallow friendships that are easy to let go of in order to protect the heart from the pain of separation.
This is a horrible practice and one, at least in my church system, based out of control and fear. The organization doesn’t risk a single pastor becoming more influential than they are and thus keeps this juggling act going when if they would allow effective pastors to remain in place, they could experience the very growth they proclaim to pine for.
Professional Help
There are mental health issues that are simply too large or complex to handle on your own and this is where it’s important to recognize when the help of a mental health professional is needed.
We in the church need to do away with this stigma that seeking out mental health assistance means you’re a bad person or are failing. We should actively encourage this behavior because it’s a healthy step to take!
You as a ministry leader are in a unique position to change this by seeking out help when you need it. Maybe you’ll get talked about, but that is a far less dangerous issue than what results by you not getting the help you need. Remember, you’re no good if you’re hobbling around with a broken leg.
I do believe it’s important to address the significant of finding the right professional to handle your situation. Different people specialize in different trauma, and you will want to take your time to “shop around,” as even those within your particular specialty area are to be evaluated as you need a good rapport for the treatment to work best.
Regardless of which approach you choose to take I hope and pray that you are able to experience the freedom that Christ promised when he read from Isaiah 61:
“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, for the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the broken-hearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.
He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the LORD’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.”
So go and be like great oaks for your church.
