by Tim Adams
As a leader, particularly one who has influence of which ministries get funding every year, you have the unenviable responsibility of balancing which departments get invested in and which ones have to make do. Every. Year.
This balancing act can build friends and enemies and you often find yourself in the middle of battles you didn’t want. Of course, many of these “rivalries” go back over the years and often pre-date your arrival at the church. However, that does not mitigate the ferocity and animosity that exists in some situations. So many of us Christians bear hardened hearts towards certain brothers and sisters in our own congregations and no matter how many messages you deliver on forgiveness and grace, only a willing heart can be healed and restored.
This process must be God-directed and Spirit-led, often taking years of steady prompting and while you wait, the damage that can be done by your members can be catastrophic. It takes a special patience and understanding to wade into these waters, knowing you are going to get lashed out at, struck, and hurt yourself. You may also be one leader in a string of them that each plays a role in bringing about the healing and restoration in your church and its members.
I was part of a church that had a large split in the midst of a large growth spurt. Without getting into details, let’s just say that a powerful element within the church, accustomed to power and influence, did not appreciate the changes the lead pastor was making, despite huge growth, baptisms and lives being reclaimed for the Kingdom. They successfully “arranged” for the pastor to not only be disgraced, but completely stripped of his ability to preach in any church in that denomination ever again. It can be brutal out there in the wilds of ministry and you have to be aware of the dangers, toils, and snares that await.
The first step in any journey towards healing is to walk with God. This might seem obvious, but I assure you that seeking out His leading is always first. His timing could be different than yours; similar to how King David wanted to build the Temple but had to allow Solomon to complete it. This journey and this life is not about you or me – we are not the central characters in this story; God is. And that means we seek His counsel in everything. Just because the idea is good and sound, there are many variables at play, and He may not have all those variables lined up yet. Thus, the practice of patience on the Lord.
Once you get the go-ahead, it’s important to “ask the next question.” Just because God says “yes” to your request to start down a healing journey for your church doesn’t mean that NOW is the right time, or the person you have in mind is the one you should start a discussion with. So many times we get the answer we want and we take off – leaving God behind as we race ahead with our own agenda. When God has a plan, we need to follow His lead – even if that means taking one step at a time. It’s incredibly frustrating when you don’t have the full picture in front of you, but it is so much more rewarding to be able to look back at all the incredible things that had to line up perfectly and to realize that it could only have happened because of God, not you.
I’m reminded of how my now-wife and I reconnected after six years of no contact due to losing each other’s phone numbers. We’d been friends for over 20 years, but I never knew about her feelings for me. I had moved six hours south two days after she had moved back into the area and with no social media accounts, she had no way of keeping track of me. I had to decide to come back “home” to celebrate my birthday, then had to decide to go to her church to talk to the techs about possible AV upgrades, and I had to go up the stairs at the right moment in order for her to trip down the stairs and for me to catch her in my arms…yeah, sounds crazy, right? I assure you, though, this is the “lite” version of the story! Looking back, the insane amount of little decisions that had to be made for that event to occur is mind-boggling.
Yet, this is how God works and it’s our need to control everything around us that keeps us from experiencing how incredible God is when we step back and let Him take control. Both my wife and I had to release our futures to Him – especially our love lives – because we both realized we suck at choosing partners and had each decided we were okay with being single the rest of our lives. In other words, we were ready to surrender and accept whatever God had for us.
This is a good third step in living a life of patience – truly surrendering and accepting whatever God has planned. This messes with our desires, dreams, and what we see as our ideal life or goals, but God’s version is SO much better and is worth the wait – trust me. Our marriage is so filled with peace, trust, love, confidence, and respect I can’t even believe I’m married and it’s real.
So take heart, my friends, and take some time alone with God out in His creation, away from your phone, the internet, your friends, family, and especially your church. Seek out God in a very real, very deep way. He will show up but sometimes you have to be patient and let the noise in your head, heart, spirit, and soul die down so you can hear Him. This practice is something I picked up years ago called a Day Alone with God, or DAWG. It’s incredibly powerful and always worth it and I strongly urge you to start this practice once or twice a year for yourselves! Being patient on the Lord is the way to go!
Tim Adams spent over 20 years volunteering in church technical ministry and now focuses on helping small churches achieve technical excellence through equipment upgrades, training, sharing best practices and teaching leadership how to cast God-sized vision.
