By Tim Adams
Jesus was not a people pleaser; far from it. He picked fights with the religious leaders, broke expectations regularly, and even expressed frustration with his disciples on more than one occasion.
We must be very careful about the pictures we paint with our churches about this God we serve. Too often, I have seen and heard depictions of Jesus as this meek and mild-mannered man who was filled with grace, compassion, and love towards others. And he certainly is those things, but he is so much more, as well.
What about the God of the Old Testament? Jesus is part of that Godhead, that three-in-one entity that took part in some atrocious events in the Bible. It’s easy to justify that away as “God knows best,” but I think it’s important we do not shy away from this side of God, because it exists; it’s a part of the character of God, and therefore a part of us, who are made in his image.
Just about every time God lashes out, though, it’s in response to a betrayal from his people, an act of rebellion, disobedience, or self-serving that takes their hearts far from him and I choose to believe that God acts out of necessity to avoid spreading this behavior across the entire nation and to remind his people that he is the only true power worthy of their praise, adoration, and faith.
But we also see a behavior modeled that shows sometimes dramatic action is required to solve a situation. Of course, killing thousands of people isn’t the way to go about that today, but discipline and letting people face the consequences of their actions remains effective and can sometimes be the only course of action available.
We are all on our individual journeys with God and our hearts are in different places on that journey; but I deeply believe that heart change, if it’s happening, should be outwardly noticeable because heart change leads to behavior change.
As a pastor, you can appreciate that there are sometimes individuals or even whole families that create so much drama, conflict, and toxicity within your congregations that they need to be requested to leave, not return, and/or even have law enforcement or the government brought in. Christianity is often focused on the softer side of Jesus – the grace, mercy, empathy, and the desire to see people’s hearts change for Christ – we sometimes miss the glaringly obvious necessity to rebuke, correct and discipline those who are in the wrong.
If we look at the letters of Paul, he pulls zero punches when it comes to calling out ideologies and behaviors that are wrong. Many Christians don’t like Paul for this because it doesn’t seem like a good leadership tactic, but I challenge that logic because didn’t God do that with Israel for hundreds of years beforehand and indeed, continues to do that with us today? Why should Paul, who was clearly called by God to evangelize and lead, shy away from that responsibility? Why should we, as modern-day leaders?
I don’t think we should go out of our way to find fault in others, but nor should we allow toxic and destructive behaviors to influence and harm others in our churches in the name of grace and forgiveness. We are all on our individual journeys with God and our hearts are in different places on that journey; but I deeply believe that heart change, if it’s happening, should be outwardly noticeable because heart change leads to behavior change. If we are seeing a pattern of negative behaviors, particularly towards others, there is likely no internal change happening – this person is more likely becoming a virus or cancer inside your church and needs to be cut out.
Obviously, seek God’s counsel prior to making any unilateral decisions, but Jesus also provides a model for correcting behavior in Matthew 18:15-17, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” This might seem a tad harsh but look at the steps involved, and the chances given to the one in the wrong.
We can get further counsel from Paul in Galatians 6:1 that “if another is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.” But he also instructs us to judge those inside the church and, if necessary, to “remove the evil person from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:12-13
So why do we find it so hard to do that these days? Why do we not seem to possess the authority and security in calling this out? It seems we are more desperate for people to come to our churches than we are for deep, meaningful relationship with God. Following God isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and yet we sometimes like to advertise that it is. Or that it’s formulaic: do this, then this will happen.
Too often I have seen churches who win many souls quickly lose the people to other churches because of toxicity existing inside their very membership. Gossip, judgement, snide comments, cliques, guilt-tripping into serving somewhere in the church or shaming into tithing, no deep relationships, insincerity…the list goes on and on. I think we are seeing a real problem in our churches in that in an effort to please more people and “win” them over into attending our church, we lose sight of what it is that makes Christianity unique.
We should care about heart change, freedom from bondage, restoration of the individual’s unique design and an ever-deepening relationship with God. And that doesn’t always have to be at our church. We should encourage and applaud every soul won for the Kingdom, whether it’s at our church or another. We should celebrate life milestones, create long-lasting pockets of relationship where people live life together, following in the model of Jesus and the disciples. We must have tight-knit, faith-building and healing-seeking small groups that challenge and provide opportunities to go deeper, live more fully and experience our God in new ways.
This is a challenge facing pastors, and one I feel God is asking you to step into, and walk through, with him. So I ask you to create some margin, seek God and ask him how to achieve deeper relationships for your church, how to challenge your church to seek God in deeper ways, and how to live that out and how to identify and confront sinful living inside your own church that needs to be removed for the health of your congregation. After all, they are in your charge and you will have to answer for what you did, and did not do, to protect your flock.
Tim Adams spent over 20 years volunteering in church technical ministry and now focuses on helping small churches achieve technical excellence through equipment upgrades, training, sharing best practices and teaching leadership how to cast God-sized vision.
